How to Decide When you Can’t Decide

Question MarkLet’s say you are facing a major decision. You have made an exhaustive list of pros and cons. You’ve solicited opinions from your partner and/or friends. You’ve done everything you can think of to help you decide.

But you are stymied. For some reason, on this question, you are unable to make up your mind.

I have found a super-simple, effective solution to this problem.

It takes seconds to perform, requires no special equipment, and can be done any time of the day or night.

I call it “the imaginary coin toss.” Coin Toss

But first, you need to get in touch with that part of yourself that knows what’s best for you. You can do this by closing your eyes and asking yourself an easy yes-or-no question that you already know the answer to. For instance, ask, “Is today Tuesday?” And you will get an immediate answer, yes or no.

Pay attention to how that feels in your body and, more specifically, where it occurs in your body. Do you feel it in your gut? In your heart? In your brain?

And now notice the difference in how a “yes” answer feels compared to how a “no” answer feels. For instance, with a yes, I find my energy goes up and I feel lighter and more energized. Conversely, a “no” answer causes my energy to contract and I feel tighter and more concentrated.

Try it again. Ask yourself another question you know the answer to; close your eyes; and feel what the yes or no feels like to you. Do not judge or elaborate; simply make a note of the feeling.

Now, you are ready for the imaginary coin toss.

Ask yourself the question that has you flummoxed. It must be phrased in a yes-or-no manner. So, for example, regarding a move, do not say, should I move to Toledo or Miami? Rather, start by asking yourself, “Would it be in my best interest to move to Toledo?”

And, as you are asking yourself the question, close your eyes and imagine a coin being tossed into the air. “Heads” means, yes, you should move to Toledo. “Tails,” no, you should not move to Toledo.

It lands heads. Yes, you should move to Toledo.

Now, quick, what is your gut reaction? Do you feel uplifted and energized by this imaginary outcome of the coin toss, or do you feel disappointed? In other words, are you relieved at the result, or do you suddenly wish it had been the opposite?

Pay attention to that lightning-quick inner reaction, because that is the answer that is true for you. That is the inner-knowing that can help you decide what to do.

Your turn: Did you try this technique?  Did it work for you? Please feel free to leave a comment below.

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10 Responses to How to Decide When you Can’t Decide

  1. I've actually done that! Not the moving to Toledo, but the coin toss. And yes, it's a clarifying exercise.

  2. Hey Willow — I'm glad you've had success with this technique!

    And I've never been to Toledo. It's just the first city that popped into my brain 🙂

  3. Hi, what a wonderful post. This is a terrific method to get in touch with your inner guidance.

    I'm an intuitive consultant and I've never used the coin toss technique. I think it's marvelous.
    Thank you for sharing it with us. Did you come up with this yourself, or read it somewhere?

  4. Willow, by the way I'm going to try it. I'm sure it's going to work beautifully, but I'll comment back tomorrow after trying it.

    thanks again! Angela

  5. Thank you, Angela!

    My husband and I came up with this technique together. We have been married for 27 years and have had ample opportunity to refine the technique and put it to the test. And we have found it to be amazingly helpful. Invariably, when we are at a decision-making crossroads, one or the other of us will say, “Toss the imaginary coin!” And we always come away with greater clarity toward reaching a decision.

    I just visited your site, Angela. I love that Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched was the image on your latest post. I recognized her right away — one of my favorite characters!

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting 🙂

  6. Christianna,
    I thank you so much for visiting MM&M. It was a pleasure having a “visit” from you!

    I wanted to tell you how brilliant your coin toss is! I'm so impressed that you came up with it yourself!

    I tried it twice and came up with Heads – which was a Yes. Thank you. You helped me make a difficult decision easier!

  7. Angela, I'm so glad the technique helped you with a decision! Thank you for letting me know.

  8. I haven't tried this, but I love the concept. I've experienced that laser quick gut response to options before though. It gets covered up by reasoning/logic quickly, however, so I have to be super mindful to catch it.

  9. Hi virginbloggernotes — yes, that laser quick gut response can be such a quick flash that it is easy to miss it. Being mindful, as you mentioned, is the only way to notice it and, hopefully, catch it.

    Thanks for visiting 🙂

  10. At last, sonemoe comes up with the “right” answer!